My Tribe's Vibe: Do Again

When you reach my stage of parenting, you look back through the years and start rating your parenting practices. Or, at least, I have. I've classified them into 2 camps.

The "Do Again."
The "Do-Over."

So, I thought for the next few days, I'd share some from each camp. These are not going to be in any particular age appropriate order. If I were more organized, I'd do that for you, starting with toddlers and ending with teenagers. But I'm not, so, random it is.

Something I would do again in a heart beat is read aloud to my children. I'm not talking about when they are preschool age (although I would also do that again, but I'm going to talk about that in another post). I'm talking about when they are school age. Basically, you don't stop reading out loud to them just because they formally start school.

Homeschooling introduced me to this concept, but it is a practice that our family continued for a few years even after our children began attending public school, and before our evenings were commandeered by sports events.

Here's a link to an article that talks about why this is good. I agree with all those reasons for sure, but I also love a good story with people I love! They weren't so little any more, but everybody still grabbed a comfy spot in the family room and cozied up. The memories of that time together reading are some of my most precious.

So now, the next question is, what to read? Sonlight has our go-to list that is broken down by ages. You can find it here.

Another thought I'd mention when you are thinking about what to read - consider books that have stood the test of time and are considered classics. It matters what we read to our children.

I'll end here with a few of my family's favorite read-a-louds.

Blessings!

A Good Start

I start most every morning with my "quiet time." Since God saved me from my sinful self way back when I was 9 years old - since the blood of Jesus did work in my life - I've known time alone with God sometime during a day was critical. For me, it's first thing in the morning. Because I want to know and love Him more; because I want to "to number my days, that I may gain a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12); because I want to love people more and live well the few short years I have on this earth;  the alarm goes off a little early, and I start my day with God. I read the Bible and I pray. I may have a devotional book handy and Bible websites up and I go back and forth between all those resources.

No two mornings are exactly the same because, well, because, I'm a person and God's a person and we are communicating and communication isn't rote but real and organic. And yesterday morning, it was as real and organic as it gets. He met me in such a delightful way, and I want to share it here.

Because I'm attending a Bible Study Fellowship class, I have a daily reading schedule. Yesterday, it happened to be the day assigned to read the notes provided by BSF on a section we had just studied about the life of Moses. I jumped right into them with barely a "Help me understand this, Lord." However, not far into it,  I felt a check in my spirit. Time with God isn't something to check off a list, but a person to be with. So I stopped and picked up a small devotional book recently given to me by a friend. It's title is His Name Shall Be Called, and it's a Christmas inspirational book that focuses on the names of Jesus.

The fact that it's a beautiful book is a bonus:)

The focus I read was from Jeremiah 50:6

Now for full disclosure.

I read that and causally thought that was nice - and true. Yes, Jesus is our resting place. I even closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to try to think about it all a bit more. The thoughts expressed in what I just read were good, but they hadn't sent me soaring to new spiritual heights. But at least I had attempted a more relational moment. I didn't know it then, but God was going to use this attempt later. He's good at doing that kind of thing.

I went back to my BSF notes, which I love reading, by the way. They are not a chore at all. So with highlighter in hand and cup of coffee nearby, I began.

I came across a discussion of different levels of knowing someone.

While reading this, I thought of someone I know - one of my heroes in the faith, Elisabeth Elliot. I've only met her briefly at a couple of conferences, but I feel like I know her because I've read almost everything she's written. Because she's elderly (she'll be 88 on Dec 21st) and not in the best of health (and because I'm easily distracted sometimes), I decided to quickly check her website to see how she was doing. I stayed there long enough to see she is still being beautifully cared for by her loved ones and to thank God for her many years of speaking to me through her books and lectures.

Elisabeth check done, it was back to the notes.

It was in this next section of note reading, that I marveled at the tender care of God - the One who knows me best and still loves me most. His taking of my feeblest attempts at devotion and my note reading and my quick website check and then more note reading and weaving them all together to teach me about himself is such a gift from His great and mighty heart. At the early hour of 6:30 a.m., my tired face broke into a ready smile when I read the following:

The reference in those words to the "five young missionaries" refers to Elisabeth Elliot's first husband, Jim, and the 4 other men he worked with. I know this story well. Elisabeth told it in her book Through Gates of Splendor, and it found its way to the big screen in End of the Spear and Beyond the Gates of Splendor.

So, in my notes on The Life of Moses, God brings me back to Elisabeth Elliot and her story and strong testimony just a few minutes after I "checked" on her. If that wasn't enough, God topped it off with the words to a hymn written way back in 1895. Words echoing - reinforcing -  the concept that I had tried to grasp during my devotional time.

Jesus is my resting place.

There it was, printed in black and white. Five missionary men sang that song and rested in those facts as they faced a very uncertain future as far as this life was concerned.

We rest on Thee  -  our shield and our defender!

We go not forth alone against the foe;

Strong in Thy strength, safe in Thy keeping tender,

We rest on Thee, and in Thy name we go.

I was blown away at this point. I wouldn't let my Lou walk out the door until I told him about it. I'm still marveling at it. It wasn't a happy coincidence. It was God meeting me right where I was. 

He's still speaking to me through these truths. He's reminded me in the day since reading all this, that the living of life on this earth - our future - is uncertain. We don't know it. We don't know the joys ahead. We don't know the sadness ahead. 

But we know the One who does. And we can rest on Him and His sure care and love for His redeemed.

As quiet times go, this one was slightly on the dramatic side. But dramatic or not, it's still a time totally worth getting up for.  Meeting with the God of the universe always is.  It's a good start to a day. 

3 Pics 1 Word

My girls have been enjoying an online game of late called "4 Pics 1 Word." It's a rather addicting game where you're given four pictures and a group of letters. From those, you decide what one word those pictures all have in common. Here's an example:

Since it's popular right now, I thought I'd try something similar, except mine is called 3 Pics 1 Word and is much easier than the real one. (My thanks to offspring #5, Elizabeth, for making the next picture happen).

Ready?

Go.

Got it?

I know you do.

I first noticed this word about 10 years ago when our family decided to memorize Psalm 19 together. You start to notice things you'd never notice otherwise when you memorize, and I was struck by what the second half of verse 8 said:

The precepts of the Lord are right,

  giving joy to the heart.

The commands of the Lord are radiant,

    giving light to the eyes.

I think I must have just looked in the mirror, seen some dark circles under the old eyes and been feeling especially haggard when this thought occurred to me, but I remember thinking, "Wow, the commands are radiant and will give light to my eyes! That is some kind of effective beauty treatment!"

My radar has been up concerning the word "radiant" ever since.

So the other day, when this flyer came in the mail, my radiant radar detector went off.

Obviously, if I'm getting this flyer in the mail, I appreciate the role beauty essentials play in our lives. But when I saw those words, "Be Radiant," I immediately thought of what really can make us radiant.

The flyer was my first reminder of this word, but it hasn't been my last.

In preparation for an event I'm teaching at in April, I've been spending some extended time in Psalm 34. As you might expect, I've paused at verse 5.

There it is again! Isn't that a glorious promise to us?

On the heels of such promises and pictures, it makes perfect sense now to refer to...a pig. More specifically, Wilbur, of Charlotte's Web fame.

I love this pig story. Wilbur and his dear friend, Charlotte, have so much to teach about what is good and true and lasting. (I've already told a couple of my kids that they are not allowed to read Charlotte's Web to their kids - I'm calling dibs on that honor. ;)

Charlotte saves Wilbur's life by weaving words about him in her web.

Somewhere in the middle of pondering Psalm 34:5, I was back in the barn on Zuckerman's farm remembering one of the words used to describe Wilbur - one of the words that saved his life: Radiant.

"Actually," said Wilbur, "I feel radiant."

Of course he feels radiant. He's loved by a dear friend. He's being rescued by the words of a dear friend. How could that not make you feel radiant?

He's still 100% porcine, but he's radiantly porcine - and it shows. What's happening on the inside can't help but come out.

This time of year, when outwardly, this girl is feeling pasty and dull, it will do wonders for me to take time to remember this 3 Pics 1 Word and the truths God showed me in it.

As I look to Him and believe what He says about Himself and about me,  He'll do big, brightening work on the inside, where it really matters. Where it will last for ever and ever.

When that happens on the inside, it can't help but come out.

And what will show can be described with one word: Radiant.

Mum's the Word

I'm trying to take the hint.

The word "mum" has been on my mind lately.

It started on Monday when I read the blog post, "My mum doesn't read my blog" by Chantelle out of Sydney, Australia. I also read through her comment section a little, and the references to "mums" throughout were just so darn cute. It was a little "awhh" moment about the word "mum."

Then on Tuesday, I read this little blurb in one of my favorite books, A Third Treasury of the Familiar.

Those two separate buy equal readings rode tandem on my bike ride yesterday.

Peddling up the slight incline on Hartford, and before I was aware that the thoughts from those readings were joining me on my ride, I was, oddly enough, thinking about what my grandkids might call me someday.  I'm attributing my thinking such a random thought, (when, to my knowledge, I have no potential progeny on the horizon) to the fact that I had read the following Beth Moore tweet the morning of said bike ride.  It shows her unusual grandma name: "Bibby."

Beth Moore ‏@BethMooreLPM

Camp Bibby is ON. Arts & crafts supplies? Check. Great snacks? Check. Incentives for getting along? Check. Let's do it, Jackson & Annabeth!

What name would I be christened with? I've still got time to influence what it is....Then it hit me.

MUM! How about "Mum?" Wouldn't that be the cutest thing? That's right up there cute with "Bibby!" As I'm pedaling to my heart's content, I don't think through how close that really is to "Mom," and how confusing that might be to little ones, I just bask in the potential cuteness of it - especially when compared to the age heavy "Grandma."

"Mum." I think I even said it out loud. And then I thought of the complete appropriateness of it on even another level. There is a non-British meaning to this word that most of us here in America think of first when we hear the word "mum." Well, we think of it or the flower. The second meaning I'm referring to is "silent."

Now, if I have grandchildren, hopefully I'll have a son-in-law or a daughter-in-law. And from what I've heard others say about that role, I know I need to keep most of my opinions to myself.  Right about here is where I remembered what I'd read about Calvin Coolidge. Yep, silence, or "judicious silence," is to be valued and cultivated in the role of mother-in-law and grandma mum.

However, the art of knowing when to speak and when not to speak isn't something I need to save for a future role. It's needed here and now - in my marriage, in my parenting, in my life. The Bible has something to say about it all too. I just googled "Bible verses about talking too much." Here's what showed up.

And that's not all of them. But it's enough of them to get the point. Clearly. (Kind of glad there aren't any verses about blogging too much. :)

Well....as you can tell, that was some bike ride. I went from being a "mum" to being "mum." And, not only that, it spawned a blog post! God can really use anything and everything to teach us about ourselves - to teach us about himself. And that always brings joy.

I sure don't want to keep mum about that!

Number by Reading

Psalm 90:12 says the following:

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."

Here we have a call to not squander the days we've been given. I think about how I use my time a lot, but that doesn't mean I don't waste some of it. But if there's any time I could point to in my 21 years as a parent that I would say I have definitely not squandered, it's the time I spent reading out loud to my kids.

I've read.

and read...

and read...

and read...(Sorry I broke the pattern. I couldn't find a picture of just reading to the 4)

and read. Ask Lou about Mary Grace's bangs.

Looking pretty exhausted in those last couple of pictures. There's a reason for that - I was. And I must admit, I didn't always feel like reading to them. Now, just looking at these pictures, seeing us all snuggled up together, I'm very glad that reading a story and then reading the Bible was our nightly routine. And exhausted or not, we did it. We always ended with the Bible because we wanted them to go to sleep with God's word being the last thing they heard.

I began yawning less during that nightly reading once we passed the days of reading the same favorite books over and over. While those were precious times and I've saved all of their favorites (like Sue Roweton - who has a great blog post over just that subject. Check it out at: Sweet Nostalgia ), I totally prefer where we were in that last picture posted above, and where we are now - reading stories where the kids beg, "Please don't stop! Just one more chapter!"

And because I'm just as in to the story as they are, I usually acquiesce.  Mr. Popper's Penguins, is just one example of the children's books I've come to love. However, I didn't read Mr. Popper's Penguins as a child.  In fact, I'd never heard of it until I started homeschooling and was introduced to Sonlight.

Sonlight is a literature based curriculum, which has, as an integral part of the curriculum, Read-Alouds. Now, of course, a parent knows they should read out loud to their child. And I was doing that. What Sonlight did for me is give me some amazing, quality literature that I'd never heard of. Why I didn't read these stories when I was young, I couldn't tell you. I don't even remember ever hearing of Newbery Medal and Honor books. (Embarrassingly, when I was young, I had heard of Harlequin Romances - definitely not amazing, quality literature.)

A few of our favorites from Sonlight have been:
Johnny Tremain
Carry on Mr. Bowditch
The Witch of Blackbird Pond
The Wheel on the School
The Endless Steppe
Cheaper by the Dozen
Man of the Family
Mr. Popper's Penguins
Understood Betsy
Banner in the Sky
Betsy and the Emperor

Some great truths and life lessons are introduced and more easily understood in the context of an engaging story. With the internet, we are also constantly looking up places and ideas mentioned that we aren't sure about. And I cry at the sad parts. I don't know how many times I've read Charlotte's Web.
I know what's going to happen. But the response is always the same when I read the following.
     But as he was being shoved into the crate, he looked up at Charlotte and gave her a wink. She knew he was saying good-bye in the only way he could. And she knew her children were safe.

      "Good-bye!" she whispered. Then she summoned all her strength and waved one of her front legs at him.

      She never moved again. Next day, as the Ferris wheel was being taken apart and the race horses were being loaded into vans and the entertainers were packing up their belongings and driving away in their trailers, Charlotte died. The Fair Grounds were soon deserted. The sheds and buildings were empty and forlorn. The infield was littered with bottles and trash. Nobody, of the hundreds of people that had visited the Fair, knew that a grey spider had played the most important part of all. No one was with her when she died.

I cry. And I'm granted the opportunity to begin gently teaching my children about grief before a great grief happens. And that applies to anger, honesty, love, loyalty, bravery, treachery, deceit, etc, that are woven throughout different stories.  Great stories, no matter what age they are written for, summon all the emotions that make us human.

And ones worth reading inspire us to be better people. Even as I type this, I'm wondering why I have stopped reading to the older ones. We all still love a story. We all still need to be inspired to be better people.  I now only consistently read out loud to Mary Grace. In fact, this post was originally supposed to be about the book we just finished, Number the Stars. 

I had made some notes about certain passages in that book that I wanted to expound on here. But once I started writing this post, it kind of took on a life of its own. And, after writing this, and reminding myself of the great benefits of reading out loud to my kids - no matter what age you are or they are - I'm thinking we might just have to start that habit up again.  Not sure what that would look like practically, but I know it would be worth the time and effort to make it happen. I'll let you know if that becomes a reality.

In the mean time, Mary Grace and I will read.  The Wolves of Willoughby Chase is next on our list. I'm sure I'll make notes in its margin also. And I'm sure both Mary Grace and I will say, more than once,  "Just one more chapter."


*In looking for pictures of Lou and me reading to the kids, I found some honorable mentions.

A little blurry, but I love this one



In the Oakland house where we brought 5 out of the 6 home

At YMCA of the Rockies

Hannah - always willing to help

Lou's grandmother and Elizabeth

My mom and Mary Grace

Lou reading to a room full of cousins

Me and Elizabeth