Tossing and Turning

I had a tough, tough time getting to sleep last night. My body started out still, but ended up tossing and turning. It was the life I was attempting to live as my head lay on that pillow. It wasn't still. It was moving along at light speed.

I was thinking about:

-the wedding plans that need to be made between now and a March 13 wedding day.
-relationship stuff between me and people.
-relationship stuff between my kids and people.
-how dirty my house is and how much it needs cleaning.
-how sweet our time over Christmas was.
-how hard our time over Christmas was.
-how I need to lose weight before I buy a mother-of-the-bride dress.
-how I need to balance the check book and pay bills.
-prayers I'm praying for those I love.
-how sometimes life events turn out better than expected.
-how sometimes life events turn out worse than expected.
-how sometimes life events blindside you.
-how if I trusted God like I should, I wouldn't have issues getting to sleep.
-the attributes of God because I was having trouble falling asleep.
-how I needed to stop thinking about everything so I could fall asleep.

You get the idea. I don't remember the last thoughts I had before sleep eventually and, thankfully, came. The last time I looked at the clock, it was 1:15.

At 6 a.m., when I came into the kitchen this morning and Lou and I chatted about how we slept, I told him about my night. I also told him that today I was going to spend extended time calendaring and making lists of all that needed to happen over the next months so I could get a handle on things.

I then poured my coffee and sat down to meet with God. I opened my Bible Gateway tab like I always do and this was the Verse of the Day:





A lump rose in my throat and I thanked God.

He is faithful to help. He is faithful to his word. 

One step at a time. 
Coming to him. 
Doing the next thing. 
For His glory and my joy.
He will give me what I need.

My Tribe's Vibe: Good is Good

Beth Moore can bring it, can't she?

She's an engaging speaker and definitely caught my attention one day. A few years back, I was surfing radio stations and stumbled across a broadcast of one of her talks. It was half over, but I stayed there and heard a good word that knocked this put-a-lot-of-expectations-on-your-husband wife upside the head.

I came in on a part where Beth was repeating the question, "Women! Isn't good, good?

Then she'd follow it with, "Good is good!!"

The longer I listened I picked up that she was talking about us women and the expectations we put on our husbands and marriages. She said we all want to classify our marriages as great all the time and nobody can live with that kind of pressure. It took me back to a place I was up to my neck in when I was first married. I blogged about that place here. I'm glad I'm farther down the road from there!

I'm farther down the road, but that doesn't mean that I don't need a good reminder now and then.

 On the days of marriage that are harder - when I'm tempted to be complaining and ungrateful
                                                                 - when I'm tempted to compare and I/we come up short
                                                                  - when I'm tempted to put undue expectations on my marriage because it's not some imaginary "great" that some others have out there, I pray God reminds me of the very good gift I have in being married to a good man.

Good is good.

Good is so very good.

Let's tell our husbands how good they are.
Let's thank God for our good husbands.

I couldn't find the actual talk I heard on the web, but I did find the following quote from Beth Moore that catches the gist of what I heard.

"Nor, she says, is there anything wrong in “good” as opposed to “great”: “I believe that great marriages are great but that a good marriage can also be good. Amid the blur of magazine headlines and blog articles about how to have a great romance, a great marriage, great sex, great kids, great families, great jobs, great relationships, and fabulously great futures with great impact, save a little room in your heart to believe that good can also be good.”  Beth Moore quotes on family


NOTE: There are some of you that cannot say, "I have a good husband." You have had heartbreaking experiences with your spouse. You have walked roads of fear or betrayal that I have not walked and I cannot speak to. I pray God has met you in that painful place and helped. I pray you are on the road to healing. Please know that I pray this post has not caused you any extra grief.

A Note to My Daughters: Delight and Disappointment

This past Sunday, I had conflicting feelings. I was delighted and disappointed - all at the same time.

Knowing my girls might have those two feelings walk hand in hand sometime in their future,  I wanted to let them know what I did with that tricky situation.

First, let me set things up.

We came home from lunch and my three youngest daughters started making plans to play tennis. Of those three, we have one tennis player (Mary Grace) and two tennis attempters (Faith and Elizabeth). My tennis player had texted a couple of other tennis player friends to see if they could hit with her while the attempters whacked the ball around, but Memorial Day festivities were in full swing for everybody, and nobody who could actually hit a tennis ball was available. It would just have to be the three of them.

I could hear the happy chatter coming from the upstairs as they decided who was going to wear which cute tennis skirt. Elizabeth was the first down and as she was filling up her water bottle, I casually wondered out loud if I should go and hit with Mary Grace to give her more of a "real" workout. Elizabeth, very kindly, said, "I don't know. You could ask her."

And it was then I immediately knew I shouldn't ask her.

Their tennis outing on Sunday wasn't about tennis or any kind of real workout. It was about three girls being together on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. It was about riding to the courts with the windows down and the music turned up. It was about being with one of their kind. And while I'm dearly loved by all of them, it was time to be mom-less.

Hence the tinge of disappointment for me. And it really was just a tinge. Quickly chasing that tinge was the delight I felt for them. These three, though vastly different from and sometimes pretty annoying to each other, were seriously enjoying one another's company. They were bouncing through and out of the house feeling young and pretty and independent. And close. Like sisters.

Seeing your children enjoy each other brings a happiness to a mom's heart that's difficult to surpass.

So there I was, genuinely delighted and slightly disappointed - all at the same time. Which brings me to what I really want to say to my girls. And, even though my oldest, Hannah, was enjoying time at the lake with her husband when her sisters were teaching me this object lesson, she's on my mind as I type.

Don't base what you do and how you act on your feelings. You can have more than one at the same time. You can have one feeling one minute, and a completely opposite one the next. If you go down the feeling road, you will say and do things you regret.

Tell yourself the truth and act on that.

I'm pretty confident that none of my girls knew I was slightly conflicted on Sunday, which is such a success for me. Believe me, there have been many occasions when, because of fear and/or hurt feelings, I have "spit in their soup." I could have done some serious spitting in their little tennis outing if I'd "jokingly" said  something to the effect of, "Go ahead and have fun! Don't mind me here all by myself."

How nice it was to send them off with, "Have fun!"

"Have fun, my young and pretty and independent girls!"

Faith, Elizabeth, Mary Grace

Don't Settle

I attended a beautiful wedding over July 4th weekend.

Hannah's University of Arkansas/study abroad roommate, Megan Dunham, said "I do" to fellow Razorback, Alex Nunn. Lou and I have hosted them in our home, and dined with them in Europe, so we know them pretty well. My eyes filled with tears as Megan began to walk down the aisle.

So young. So in love. So much promise, and adventure, and fun ahead. Also ahead? Hard times, tears, and sadness. You can't know them all now. You shouldn't know them all now.

The wedding is the day we seriously vow and seriously celebrate the amazing covenant instituted by God so we're not alone for whatever is ahead.

It is a good thing. A very good thing.

At the reception, we talked about all kinds of things. I heard some things I expected to hear.

It was such a beautiful wedding.

Alex and Megan are so well matched.

They are perfect for each other.

But I also heard something that pleasantly surprised me.

My oldest, Luke, had flown in from California to attend. He was sitting next to my 17 year old, Elizabeth. He put his arm around her, hugging her and said, "Elizabeth, don't settle. Find a boy that will treat you like Alex treats Megan."

Here was an older brother loving on his sister. In just a few words, he let her know how much her cared and how much he wanted the absolute best for her.

I think she'll hear those words at all the right times. Words from an older brother carry weight.

As I've reflected on that brotherly advice, I remembered some words I heard Andy Stanley say in his series, The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating. (I highly recommend those talks!) They take the important "don't settle" component and add to it the equally important component, "do become." It goes like this:

"Become the person that the person you're looking for is looking for."

You have to say that to yourself a couple of times. At least, I did.

Isn't it great? It covers a lot of bases.

This is my prayer for my kiddos as they are either in the potential marrying stage or fast approaching it.  

Lord, let them become the person the person they're looking for is looking for.

To end, I'll quote Luke again and share a few pictures. The day of the wedding he tweeted this:

Luke Harris ‏@ilukeharris6 Jul

Weddings are awesome

Yes, they are. They combine the best of seriousness and celebration.

Thanks, Alex and Megan, for letting us share in yours! Many, many blessings!

Very yummy, fun food served at the reception!

Representing the Harris Clan.
Missing David (working at Kanakuk as a counselor)
Missing Lou and Faith (on a medical mission trip in El Salvador)

The beautiful bride and her handsome groom

Me and my oldest

Elizabeth and Mary Grace rockin' the photo booth!

A Little Lesson from Lou

I've been spending a little extra time with my man the past couple of days. We are at KAA for his week of volunteering as camp doctor. Thankfully, it's been less eventful than last year.

But what is the same as last year, and what occurs many days of my married life is this: Lou B. Harris has taught me something.

I've learned a lot from him over the years. I won't list for you the "a lot" because, well, because I'd like you to come back and visit my blog sometime. But I do remember one of the first things he tried to teach me about.  How to cook hash browns. I'd like to say that moment in time was a rip roaring success, but the attempt at conveying culinary information from him to me in our garage apartment at 2101½ S. Madison, Tulsa, OK, that day culminated in another first for us - our first fight as a married couple.

Of course, we laugh about it now. I'm smiling as I type. Hash browns. Really? So silly. So young. So real. And so not about hash browns at the core.

After almost 26 years of marriage, we've become better at conveying and hearing what at least one of us feels needs to be said to the other. I won't say mastered, because we haven't mastered that skill. At least I haven't mastered that skill.  Sometimes, even when we are both trying to maturely discuss an issue, words twist, feelings get hurt and I end up wanting to knock him into next week.

Also after 26 years of marriage, we've learned to let some things go. We've learned what's worth discussing and what's not. Lou used to try to encourage me to exercise when we first got married.

"You should go for a run now. The weather's perfect."

"It's amazing outside today! You gonna exercise??"

Even though I've been fairly athletic my whole life, I was not a regular exerciser at the time he made those sweet little suggestions. We discussed I told him that I really need to come to the whole exercise conviction on my own. While he thought he was looking out for my health, I took his nudging as, "Get off your duff, you slug." Once he realized that's what his words said to me, he honored my request, stopped the nudging, and modeled good exercising behavior.  I was eventually won over to his way of good thinking and started exercising regularly.

Another area that he's been wise to not nudge is in the neatness/orderly category. I might as well just confess it now. He's neater than me. I'm not a complete slob, mind you. It just comes more naturally to him than it does to me, darn it.

Which brings me to the Lou de jour lesson. When I returned to our room here at KAA today after exercising (had to throw that in there), I threw off my shoes and jumped in the shower. When I was ready to put my shoes back on, I looked on the floor and saw something I hadn't noticed until just then:

Those shoes (and socks) in the floor that everybody has to walk around and trip over? They are mine.

Those shoes that are easily found and neatly put where nobody has to walk around them or trip over them? Those are Lou's.

Lou, wisely, I might add, has not and does not say anything to me about any of my untidy little habits. He typically just does his orderly thing. If there's one thing I've learned after living with him for these 26 years, it's he has a reason for everything he does. He's the son of an engineer and it shows. It's one of the things that used to drive me crazy, but now one of the things I like most about him. He's purposeful.

Even down to how to store his shoes in our very beautiful, comfortable, but closetless room here at KAA.

So, there it is. A little wordless lesson from Lou that he was completely clueless about until now.

Wordless are pretty much the best kind of lessons, aren't they?

Clutter Count Catch Up

Talk about being behind.

Talk about the subject that cannot be named.

Talk about something that hasn't been talked about since...March!!!

Yes, it's Clutter Count 2,013 in 2013. And if you've even forgotten what I'm talking about, you can read about it here. In a nutshell, our house has become too cluttered - too hard to clean - and I'm determined to get rid of a bunch of stuff.

Up until a big trip to New York in mid-March, I was very consistent and excited about the whole purging process. After that trip, I was still excited, but not consistent. I could produce some pretty legitimate sounding reasons why I've become so consistently inconsistent, but blah, blah, blah. We're all busy, and except for rare, completely unforeseen circumstances, I'm convinced we make time for what we really want to do. This little project was easy to push to the back burner.

However, it's not like I completely forsook it during that time, either. If you check my Clutter Count page, you'll see listed the 139 items that did vamoose during that almost 3 month time span. Every little bit helps. I was actually encouraged when I crunched the numbers to see how my hiatus was going to affect realistically meeting my goal. Originally, I was to rid the house of about 40 items per week to meet my 2,013 goal. Because I was extra ambitious some weeks and went over 40, my decluttering hiccup has only upped that original number by 6. Now, 46 items need to vacate the premises weekly.

That's doable. (Those are two nice words, aren't they?)

So, here I sit, refocused, recommitted and about to reset the "Clutter Count Due" alarm on my phone. It'll go off this Saturday to remind me to get with the program. Not going to moan about the past. Going to start where I am. It's a very good place to be. (do-re-mi)

Speaking of good places to be, I want to end here with a link to a real expert in the world of decluttering/simplifying. It was recommended to me by a friend's daughter. Lacy Clark Ellman said this was her favorite blog to visit for inspiration in the area of simplifying and decluterring. Check it out: Be More With Less.

I hope your June is off to a summery good start.

Many, many blessings to you!

The Hardest Monday of the Year

I have a new theory.

The hardest Monday of every year is the first Monday after New Year's Day. I will support this theory at the end of this post. But first, I want to color in the lines of my hardest Monday of the year - January 7, 2013.

I woke up on that day feeling down. A palpable down. A heavy sigh down.

My family and I had returned from a fun vacation in Seattle on the 6th of January, a Sunday. We knew getting up on Monday was going to especially trying, as our bodies would still be on Seattle time - 2 hours behind good old Central Standard time. Our 5:30 a.m. felt like 3:30 a.m.

Strike one.

But up we got. Facing me was a counter full of mail and bills, a week's worth of laundry to do and some school preparation that I had, of course, put off until the last minute. I teach the Essentials Class at Classical Conversations of Bolivar on Monday afternoons, and I needed to get my ducks in a row concerning that before I did anything else. I was trying to do the next thing, but before the clock struck 7:30 a.m., I was beginning to feel that feeling in my chest that I feel when I'm about to sing a solo in front of a lot of people. I was air hungry and nervous. And tired. And overwhelmed. And down.

Strike two.

I had had time to read a little in my Bible, but it felt a bit empty. I had prayed for help. I knew today was going to be a day of major battling for joy.

The time came to take Mary Grace to school. She and I got in the car and did what we typically do. We listened to our fighter verse of the week.  The notification of the new verse comes right to my phone every Monday. Here is the verse for this week.

Hearing the words to this verse was my first help from the Lord.

He sees...and his heart is "to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him." I know my heart is not blameless, but He is merciful, and I was encouraged that he promises strong support.

About an hour later, I hear the familiar typewriter sound that lets me know I just got a text message. I open it to find my second help from the Lord of the day - this time through the sweet gift of my friend, Kim Scowden.

That kind of text will do things to you - in you. My anxiousness is beginning to be replaced with excitement over such specific, spot-on gifts from God.

The morning continues and I take the time to check my twitter account. I see the following tweet from Marc Lamont Hill:

7 JanMarc Lamont Hill ‏@marclamonthill

I'm in a crappy mood so I'm probably going to be tweeting a lot today. #fairwarning

I don't know Marc personally, but I can tell by this he's not feeling so chipper on the 7th.

Continuing to scroll, I see the following tweet from my friend, Connie Tweedy.

Connie Tweedy ‏@kctweedy85 

Struggling with discouragement. But just saw this inspirational quote: "Until God opens the next door for you, praise Him in the hallway."

Good grief! I'm not the only one feeling down today! I wish Marc Hill could read Connie's tweet, because I was encouraged reading it!  I had to tell her about it, and the result was the following texts.

As you can imagine, by this point, I'm not down.

I still have stacks of mail and bills waving at me from the kitchen counter. I still have laundry mocking me from the utility room. And, at 9:21 a.m., when Connie and I were texting, I was still working on my Essentials! But I was encouraged.

God used His Word and two dear ladies from my community to encourage me in the fight for joy. This spoke volumes to me about the importance of both. Of course, God's word is our absolute lifeline - our source of hope and joy. But God also provided people - our community, my community - to put hands and feet and voices and texts and tweets on His Word.

The more I thought about the tweets I had read and the feeling I had when I awoke (somewhat affected by jet lag), I started wondering about the whole "It's Monday" sentiment we often express in our culture.

And then I started looking at this particular Monday. The first Monday after the holidays. The first Monday after a new year. I think most of us go into a new year with high hopes, expectations, and resolutions. And for just a bit, we have a clean calendar, a clean slate - with no history of not quite measuring up.

Then the first Monday hits. We wake up feeling not quite so chipper and the reality of nitty gritty life hits us. This Monday feels a little more "ugh" because just a couple of days ago we were so pumped about all the possibilities a new year brings. That's why I think this is the hardest Monday of the year.

Thankfully, on my hardest Monday, a couple of dear ones encouraged me. The Word encouraged me.

I was rescued on this Monday.

That rescue reminds me of two things.

First, stay in the word - even when it feels empty. It is truth. It meets our deep needs.

Second, be the one who rescues, who encourages on other days. On the hardest Monday, on other Mondays, on other days, when God nudges your heart about someone, send the text, make the call, and pray the prayer. Tweet or facebook the encouraging quote. You never know who needs to hear what God has put on your heart to say.

My hardest Monday will now go in the books as one of my best Mondays.

Thank you, Kim.
Thank you, Connie.
Thank you, Lord.

An Exciting Schedule

This week, I started a new Bible study called No Other Gods, by Kelly Minter.

The very first sentence on the "meet the author" page is as follows:

"Kelly Minter keeps an exciting schedule as an author, songwriter, worship leader, speaker, and  musician - a list that's likely to keep growing as she continues to discover new talents."

I read that and then immediately rewrote it in my head.

"Shelley Harris keeps an exciting schedule as a wife, mom, friend, caregiver, laundress, taxi driver, cook, cleaner, teacher, and blogger - a list that's likely to keep growing as she continues to discover new talents."

I'll admit that my first thought was that Kelly Minter's life with the travel and public acclaim inherent in what she does did strike me as more exciting than mine. That was my first thought. That was my first feeling.

But it wasn't my second.

I love that you aren't saddled with your first thought or first feeling the rest of your life. You get a chance to tell yourself the truth. You get a chance to kick a lie out the front door of your life and into the trash heap where it belongs!

The truth is God has given Kelly Minter her exciting schedule, and he has given me my exciting schedule. They aren't the same, but they have the same purpose: to glorify God and bring us joy.

That kind of purpose is big and exciting.

And that is the truth.

My truth. Your truth.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

(Ephesians 2:10 ESV)

Uninspired

Uninspired.

That's how I'm feeling today. When I looked the definition of that word up on my computer's widget dictionary, I saw that I was pegged on both counts.

I was wanting to blog, but felt...uninspired. (See first definition)

I needed to do some stuff around the house, but felt...uninspired. (See second definition)

So what do I do about feeling uninspired?

Well, the first voice I hear is my dad's. He would say at this point, "How you feel is how you feel." No sense in trying to say you don't feel a certain way when you do. So I acknowledge it - to myself and to God - and then I try to make a conscious effort not to wallow in it.

I am not always successful in this - just ask my hubby. I can wallow with the best of them.

Then I remember the gist of a paragraph I read one time while we were visiting friends in Texas. I don't remember the book, but I do remember it talked about the "art of plodding." A lot of life consists of plodding. Not everything is exciting every moment. Sometimes, you just have to plod along. Check out the definition of "plod."

plod |pläd|verb ( plods, plodding , plodded ) [ no obj. ]walk doggedly and slowly with heavy steps:we plodded back up the hill | figurative :talks on a new constitution have plodded on.• work slowly and perseveringly at a dull task
Talk about kissin' cousins - plod and uninspired fit the bill.
But, if you plod even though you feel uninspired, you have done something. You've walked. You've worked - which means you've done something. Hopefully, that something benefits you and/or the people around you. And when you've done something that's helped, you feel better.

So, we are back to the feelings...after we've gone ahead and plodded through and done what needed to be done, we feel better! Our uninspired plodding has actually been what God uses to work on our feelings.

He does things like that.

And that, my friend, is inspiring.

I'm feeling better already...

Fourth of July Thoughts

If you've read my blog in the last couple of months, you know that my mom now lives with me. That is a new, but welcome, normal for us. On the 4th, my family typically heads up to the campus of Southwest Baptist University for the Rotary sponsored Celebration of Freedom. The community turns out, the food is good, and the firework extravaganza caps off a very fun evening. We are going this year, too. A dear lady can sit with mom. She assured us she had no plans for the evening.

Mom, to my knowledge, only went to one Celebration of Freedom, and that was on a visit she and my dad made to Bolivar  back in 1996. (They eventually moved here in 1998). But wouldn't you know it, that one attendance was forever marked by her picture in the Bolivar Herald Free Press. I hadn't seen the picture in years, but thought of it this year because, well, because, my mom lives with me now.

On July 4, 2012, she's on hospice. On July 4, 1996, she felt like sitting out in the heat and celebrating with the rest of us.

That's "Shelley" and "Munford"

Believe it or not, this difference isn't making me terribly sad today. Just a little pensive. Time is passing. We all are aging. It is the way it is. It can either bring us down, or drive us to seek the truth.

The truth that I always run to is found in 2 Corinthians 4:16-17. I've committed this to memory, and I encourage you to too. When you start noticing those inevitable aches and creaks (as I have), you can remind yourself of what's really real. Your creator put these words down in his book to give us hope.

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Now, with all that said, tonight, I'll ooh and ahhh as some glorious fireworks explode in the night sky. That is good and right and fun!

And tonight, I also have the hope of eternal glory that far outweighs anything I've ever seen, heard, felt or experienced on this earth.

That is good and right and the biggest fun ever!

Unexpected Things

When I last posted, I was just beginning a 13 day much anticipated, much planned trip to Italy, Austria, Germany and Switzerland. Halfway through, we were meeting up with our daughter, Hannah, who would be able to join us for the second half due to a week break in her study abroad schedule. I am now near the end of it. It has been amazing. I’ve seen things I’ve only read about it. 

And, I’ve cried. 

The day before we left, my 85 year old mother, who’s lived by herself for 8 years since my dad died, came down with the flu. Lou immediately started her on medicine, but that Sunday night before our plane left Monday at noon, we asked ourselves, “Do we go?” My sister-in-law had just arrived to stay at our house to care for our children and my mom - to be me for the week. We contacted our travel agent about refund policies, prayed for my mom and for wisdom and then decided to make the final decision the following morning. We’d see how Mom was doing. 

She was feeling better! And, to us, seemed quite a bit better. So, at her insistence and with her blessing and knowing she would be well cared for, we left. 

When we arrived in Rome, and were connected again via wifi, my sister-in-law let us know that on Tuesday morning, Mom took a turn for the worse. She was now in ICU.

I cried. 

Being 6 hours ahead of Bolivar, we had to be a bit strategic about “talking” to my family via skype and text-free to get updates and discuss future plans. My sister had already arrived and my brother was coming in on Wednesday. What should I do? To say I was torn is an understatement, and doesn’t adequately describe my Gordian knot of emotions. How could I stay on a European vacation while my mother and my family back home dealt with such a crisis? And what about Hannah? We were days from seeing her. We were her plans for her travel week. She also needed family at such a critical time. 

Mom’s prognosis was poor, but she had family near and was still threatening to kill me if I came home. We decided we would meet up with Hannah and then I would risk the wrath of my mom and go home. Lou and Hannah would continue the trip and would be together to grieve if my mom died. 

I was to fly out of Salzburg on Monday. Then, the blessed, unexpected happened. Defying all odds, Mom began to improve. By Sunday night, she was being moved to a private room. I cried again.

Now what to do? She’s better. My brother had gone home. My sister-in-law was offering to stay another week since Mom was still in the hospital. I cried again. We’d already bought a plane ticket. Hannah used the words, “she’s better!” and “sunk cost” and encouraged me to stay. Lou wanted me to stay. My sister-in-law wanted me to stay. Mom had not known I had planned to come home and therefore had not anticipated my arrival nor planned my murder, so that was not an issue. Still torn, but trying to listen to the voices of those that love me, I decided to stay. 

More tears.

I don’t want you to think that all I’ve done on this trip is cry. I’ve had much balm for my soul. I’ve been walking the streets of  Rome, Florence, Salzburg, and Munich with two people I love. I’ve seen beauty and art that lifts your soul in all the right ways. Can I tell you that I truly have enjoyed this time? I plan to write a bit about those highlights - the unexpected ways the things I’ve encountered in Europe have affected me.

As I’ve written facebook messages to my close friends about all this, I’ve signed them “Trusting in a Sovereign God.” That’s about all you can do at times like this. You’re hanging on for dear life. Praying. Asking Him to help you think about it. To know what to do when you get information you weren’t expecting. You want to honor Him and the ones you love. You pray you do.

It’s Thursday, and we leave early Sunday morning, arriving back in Springfield on Sunday night. I’m thanking Him for the gift this trip has been. I’m praying for continued improvement in my mom’s health. And I’m trusting in a Sovereign God.

A Good Reminder

Once again, God met me right where I am.


Lou and I leave Monday for a 13 day trip to Europe. Oh my. I've about got the two weeks I'll be gone completely planned - schedule written out, menu planned, and most food bought. I've been in charge of making sure everything goes as smoothly as possible here, and Lou has been planning what we do in each city. We've also had more than a little help from Mona Coleman, our travel agent par excellence.


It's an understatement to say we are excited.


With that said, I want to share what God spoke to my heart this morning as I was reading in the book of Mark.

 And as he came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, “Look, Teacher, what wonderful stones and what wonderful buildings!” And Jesus said to him, “Do you see these great buildings? There will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down.”

(Mark 13:1-2 ESV)

When I read those words, I immediately thought of all the amazing buildings we plan to visit. Like the Sistine Chapel. You've probably heard of it. I'm sure Lou and I will be in awe of it.  And, we should be in awe. God gifted the men who built it and painted it. (Painted seems too small a word). I am all about appreciating beautiful, awe-inspiring works of men. 


Beauty speaks to the soul in all the right words.


I'm reminded of the Cabby in The Magician's Nephew, who, as he observes the creation of Narnia, says:

 ”Glory be!” said the Cabby.”I’d ha’ been a better man all my life if I’d known there were things like this.”

I expect to feel that way. 

But, on the other hand, the truth is, the amazing buildings we are planning to see will not last forever. While they are here on this earth, their main job is to point to the One who gifted the people to build them in the first place. Everything on this earth is temporary. It's for God's glory and, amazingly - our joy while we are here on this planet. 

This was not a "downer" in any way for me to think about. It's not a, "Yeah. See that building over there? Well, don't be too amazed, because it will eventually be rubble."

It's just a reminder of who's really behind such amazing things and what is really going to last. And that, is wonderful.

I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him.

Ecclesiastes 3:14 

My Word of the Year

We are all only 16 days into 2012. Does the year still feel new to you? It was losing that fresh, new feeling to me until I saw a challenge on a beautiful, inspiring blog I follow. Over at The Lettered Cottage, readers were encouraged to pick a word of the year - something that inspires you to be, well, inspired and inspiring!

Isn't that how all good things are? Good for you and good for others. My dad used to say that you knew a deal was good if it passed that criterion. Good for you. Good for them.

Hopefully, my word will fit that bill. I wish it were a more flowery word, with a bunch of syllables, but it’s not. But it packs a punch for me. And since I decided on it, it has already helped. My word for 2012 is 

As in, do it now. Whatever it is.

Speak the encouraging word now, when you think of it. Or call, text.

Go through the mail now. Don’t let it pile up.

Make the decision now. Procrastination limits your options. Is it really going to be easier to think about and make the decision later? Are you going to have any more time later?

Put the item in its place now, instead of on the dining room table.

Return the phone call now.

Make the menu for the week now instead of “winging it.”  

Eat healthier now.

Spend time with your kids now.

Finish ____ now.

You get the picture. I have major tendencies to procrastinate. Procrastination births regret. And I’m tired of nursing that baby. So I'm stopping that bad habit now.

Now also carries the sense of being fully engaged in the present. Bloom where you are planted. Glorify God where you are.  Most of you have probably heard the quote: "Today is a gift. That's why it's call the present." That's cause for fully engaging and for saying "thank you." Now.

So now, I'm out there with this word, this goal for 2012. It feels good. And I think know my dad would like it. It's good.

Hawaii, Radar, and Rain

I should start at the beginning. But I'm not going to. I'm starting my posts about Hawaii with pictures taken toward the end of our trip. That's because a blog thought popped into my head at this time also - and all because of one word: Rain.

What do you do when what's on the radar is not on your radar?

When we were planning this trip, the thought that our planned activities might be interrupted by precipitation never entered my mind. Helloooo, Shelley. You vacationed in a lush, tropical climate. That kind of climate is made possible by abundant rain. When we started to experience this rain, we did read on the internet that if it was raining where you were on Oahu, just drive 10 minutes and you'll find the sun. Ok. No problem. Wasn't expecting this, but we'll just do a little extra driving - a little more time in the car than planned. But our car time, albeit crowded, was very good family time. Seeing the silver lining to this cloud.

But one night, more than just a little intermittent shower showed up. According to the Honolulu weather man, the big thunderstorm making noise above our heads was a the result of a very unusual weather pattern for Oahu. A couple of days after this, we visited with a couple who has lived on Oahu for 9 years. The woman explained that in those 9 years, they'd only experienced 5 thunderstorms. Electrical storms were incredibly rare for them.  Since we'd already had conversations about the unexpected rain showers prior to this, we just looked at each other and shook our heads. But then, God gave us eyes to see the beauty. This storm wasn't like the thunderstorms we have here. This was truly an electrical storm - and what a show it was putting on over the water in front of our house. Before the rain really started falling, the lights went out inside the house as the light show began outside the house. So everybody grabbed their camera and started throwing around words like aperture and shutter speed. In this picture, the electricity had just gone out. The lightening was illuminating the entire sky out the kitchen window.

Lou's Droid provided temporary light inside

Lou was able to capture the following strikes. As you can tell, there were a couple of trees and some wires in front of our house, but just past them - the Pacific.

These strikes were not just occurring every once in a while. We were "oohing and ahhing" every 5 seconds. Our guys couldn't take pictures fast enough. What a gift we were given, even though it wasn't the gift we would have chosen. God gave us eyes to see.

The rain came later that night, but I guess it cleaned the atmosphere of our weird weather pattern, because we saw improvement the next day.  After visiting Harbor Church in Honolulu, we hiked Diamond Head.

At the top of Diamond Head

We then headed to the beach and took a family picture.

Kailua Beach

And then a group picture with our dear friends, The Forristers, from Llano, Texas. It's tough to get a picture of 15 people with everybody looking just right. Sorry Heide.

Looking at these last couple of pictures, most would assume our trip was postcard perfect - that every expectation we I had of vacationing in Hawaii was met. There's that darn word again, "expectation." (See January 23 post, Young, Married, and Expecting, for more of my thoughts on expectations). It often kills the given, doesn't it?  Well, it tried to on this trip a couple of times. (Did I mention it rained some while we were in Hawaii?) But God helped me talk to myself about my expectations instead of listen to myself about them.

"Gratefully, take the given. See Me in the given. Joy is in the given."

No matter what's on the radar or our radar, God has our joy on his radar.