The 11th Club

11 is a significant number in my life.

I was born on an 11th. A September 11th, way back in 1961.

I know, I know. I can almost hear the choir of sympathetic groans being breathed right now. That horrible day in 2001 that made all 9-11s before and since infamous and sad, was also a milestone birthday for me - my fortieth.

But 11 is not just significant for me because of me. I've always loved and felt a fun connection with my dad and my paternal grandmother because they too, were born on an 11th.

Dad was born on January 11, 1928.

 Mama Trudy was born on October 11, 1900.

Mama Trudy holding our blinking Hannah

Lou and I tried to include our 5th child, Elizabeth, in this exclusive 11th club. She was due in July and because I had had some issues birthing children, I was to be induced. We kind of got to pick her birthday! Based on my past birth track record, if we induced me on the night of the 10th, she'd be born on July 11th and get to be in our club!

Elizabeth

However, she enjoyed the whole womb vibe longer than we wanted her to, and didn't make her appearance until the 12th. We tried, but she was #sassythenandsheissassynow

So, there's just 3 of us in that special club and today is one of those special 11ths - January 11th. It would have been my dad’s 87th birthday. 

And, come March 20, it will be 11 years since he died.

Since I like commemorating his birthday rather than his death day, and, since the number 11 is standing up tall and proud, I thought I’d list 11 fun facts about my sweet daddy. There is no real order to them and they are completely random. I just wrote what came to me as I sat here thinking about him.

1.  He LOVED Christmas and giving gifts. He often had a theme that he’d announce and we’d  know that our gifts would be connected to that theme. For example, one year, the theme was “Enlightenment.” Our main gift that year was a copy of this framed picture that his dad, a Methodist minister, had painted.

2. He loved to dance. He'd dance anytime anywhere, and my first dances with him that I remember were in the kitchen with my feet on top of his feet, my hands in his hands and him dancing us around on that old linoleum. I giggled the whole time. I wish I had a picture of that, but I don't. I'm including a picture of him dancing with an old family friend because I love this picture of both Dad and Mrs. Helen Pritchard.

Dancing in our living room!

3.  He was a doctor in a small town in West Tennessee. When he was on call, he'd often need to meet a patient at the office after hours. If they had a laceration that needed to be sewn up, I’d go with him and be his nurse. I made sure the light was exactly where he needed it, opened supplies for him, and poured hydrogen peroxide on the finished product. I also offered a running commentary during the procedure. Bless those very patient patients.

4.  He was a medical doctor who didn’t graduate from high school or college. Crazy, huh? His family moved around a lot when he was in high school and right before he graduated, somebody noticed he was missing a typing credit. His college let him in without it. WWII and joining the Navy messed with attaining all the official college credits, but he had the ones he needed for med school, so they let him without that diploma too!

5. Dad enjoyed golf, and in his later years, he dressed in Payne Stewart fashion. He is also legendary in our family for having a practice swing that was textbook. Absolutely beautiful. But once he addressed the ball, it was a different story. Let’s just say he’d usually end his actual golf shot with the words: “Hugh, you fast swinging idiot!”

6. Dad had an amazing garden. He worked in it most every morning before he went to work and most every afternoon after work. He and mom made quite the team. He’d grow it. She’d cook it or freeze it. 

Not the best garden picture, but best I could find quickly

7. I never saw my dad in a pair of sunglasses or a pair of jeans. 

8. My dad wrote me at least once a week while I was in college. That he did that still wows me. I treasure those letters.

9. All of Dad's letters ended with "Love, Dad" and a square root of some kind - the most frequent being √6 = 2.449. Apparently he had a professor in college that would start his class period by writing different square roots on the board. That obviously stuck with dad and it's been an endearment he used all our lives and one we kids have enjoyed. We had that most familiar square root engraved on his tombstone.

10. Dad was an unusual doctor in the fact that he had beautiful penmanship - and he was very proud of it. I was too, and after seeing this kind of thing done in Southern Living, I had the same done with one of Dad's letters. This particular letter was one he sent to me a few months after I got married. It's one of my favorite things.

I especially love his "L" and his "H"

11. When I started teaching, Dad would call me every Friday morning before I left for school just to say, "It's Friday! Every teacher's favorite day." He was right. It was my favorite day:)

January 11 was/is also one of my favorite days. A good man was born.

Thinking today about the good man God gave and let me call "Daddy."

2014 - Transitions

If I had to use one word to describe 2014, it would be Transition.

Some of our transitions were easy and joy filled and  relatively seamless. Some were hard and painful and made us cry.

In them all, we felt the steady hand of our God and we leaned hard into the hope of verses like Isaiah 43:2a.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.

One way God used to remind me of this truth in 2014 was in the beauty of the sunsets. As I looked over the pictures we took these past 12 months, I was struck by the number of sunsets I had taken. I don't know if you can have a good year for sunsets or not, but I certainly had a good year for taking pictures of them. Seeing the beauty and majesty of a sky on fire reminds you of eternal truths and an eternal being waaay bigger than you. And this One who paints the sunsets loves, is in control, and can be trusted. His goodness in giving us a book, The Bible, to hold in our hands, to read, and to remind us of all He is and all He said blows me away sometimes.

While we were seeing stunning views like this over Bolivar at the beginning of 2014, our Faith was seeing stunning vistas over the Mediterranean and ministering to people in the Middle East. 

She loved her time with the ministry YWAM, and was there through February. Since then, she's transitioned back to Bolivar  - still ministering, working, and singing. She's now going to Southwest Baptist University, where she studies Biology and is a jumper on the track team. 

Faith was here to enjoy her sister's senior year basketball swan song. Elizabeth finished strong but we all had to encourage her to be a little more vocal and aggressive. (wink, wink)

In March, my midwest men (Lou and David) headed to California to spend a week with our Luke, who has transitioned to life on the West Coast. They hiked and ate, toured and ate, drove and ate, and ate some more. Definitely good male bonding time.

All were awed by the Redwoods

Spring in Bolivar wasn't quite as warm as spring in Cali, but warm or not, Elizabeth played her favorite sport, soccer. And I flipped out when she did her signature flip throw, a highly effective offensive weapon. So much fun to watch.

Soccer was actually a 2 for 1 sport for us. Our freshman, Mary Grace, played right alongside her senior sister.

#23 and #17 ---> my favorites

Senior Night

In between soccer games, we made time to get served by our favorite waitress. 

Glad she carried food trays up and down these steps and not me!

True confession time: Having a child who's worked in food service has made me a better tipper.  

At Easter, Lou's sister, Dona, was smiling beautifully in our Easter dinner pic. Our family enjoyed her sweet self for a chunk of 2014. We prayed God's blessing over her as she (and her cat, Bobwinky) moved on and down to Dallas at the end of July. Her living with us was a gift to our family. 

Clockwise from my 88 year old Mom: Elizabeth, Faith, Lou, Alex, Hannah, Mary Grace, and Dona

Me and my girls on Easter

May brought Mother's Day and Graduation and all the happiness that surrounds those days. 

Mom and 5 of my kids

David, Me, Faith, Elizabeth, Hannah, Mary Grace, Lou, and Alex

The transition from a busy school year to the warm, slightly slower days of summer is always welcome. 

The only thing unwelcome is that sometimes the college student who just came home from school leaves again for his "job."

David spent his summer as a counselor -  playing sports and encouraging young men at Kanakuk Kamp. His time at kamp was a nice break from accounting classes!

Summer also meant lots and lots of hammocking with friends. I wish this had been a thing when I was young. So cool.

Summer also brought July, and July meant we packed up Hannah and Alex's cute little Springfield cottage and moved their stuff to an equally cute (and significantly smaller) garage apartment in Tulsa, OK. It is so OK that they are there, but we miss spur of the moment,  "Hey, we're in Springfield! Want to get together?"  

One last pic in front of the house on Fremont

Mary Grace and Hannah saying good-bye after we moved them to Tulsa.
People mistake these two for each other.

Hannah and Alex have affectionately coined their garage apartment the "treehouse."

Alex is inspiring 4th graders at Chouteau Elementary through Teach for America and Hannah is learning all about the business side of construction at Stava Building Corporation. They live near downtown and are completely adorable.

July also brought a more permanent good-bye. My mom, Violet Marea Petty Vaughan, died on July 13, 2014. I wrote about it here. She has made the final transition to heaven, which means we are transitioning to life without her. Because she lived with us for a couple of years, she had become a part of our daily life - of who we are as a family. How thankful I am that my children really knew their Grandmother and had the opportunity to help care for her. In that same vein, enough cannot be said about the kindness of my Lou to her. He loved her well.

And, she taught him how to make her awesome pound cake! 

Mom loved me well and I'm glad God put us together on this earth.

Mother's Day 2014
She was still beautiful at 88 years old!

When the family was all in for Mom's funeral, the Harris boys joined their dad in his favorite pastime. I love pictures of my three favorite men.

Luke, Lou, David

My siblings were also here for the funeral. How glad I am for this one picture we took that day.

Keith, Hugh Jr, Andy
Kathy and me

We didn't know it at the time, but it would be the last picture of all 5 of us. My oldest brother, Hugh Wynn Vaughan, Jr., died on August 6 - a few short weeks after my mom. One friend wrote, "Grief has followed grief for you right now. We will pray for you and for all who loved your brother." 

We felt those prayers. God was faithful in those deep, dark waters.

Summer ended with 3 of us participating in their first triathlon.

I was not one of the 3;). I made a great fan, though, and we loved the atmosphere and heart of such a physically challenging event.

David tackled it as an individual, and Lou and Faith snagged our friend, and D1 swimmer, Emma, to compete as Team Elf. (Emma - swim, Lou - bike, Faith - run). They all did us proud.

Fall came, and so did the mass exodus.

David and Elizabeth headed to Fayetteville to call the Hogs and study a little.

Faith moved her stuff into the dorm at SBU.

Now the only ones who made noise around here on a daily basis were me, Lou, and Mary Grace. Mostly Mary Grace. She and I were actually pretty chummy until that fateful day at the end of September, when the state of Missouri awarded her that most coveted of all official documents - her driver's license.

Everybody has driven their Papa Hugh's 1987 Dodge Dakota.

In between driving all the places a sophomore in high school needs to go, Mary Grace managed to hit the tennis ball around.

And her Dad enjoyed watching her (me too:)

Our Cali kid is still auditioning and writing and working in LA. We are always glad to FaceTime or message that boy. Did you know California is a really long way away?

We were super glad he was home for the holidays.

Everybody was home for the holidays, so the noise was back...and welcome. It's a good thing to really like your adult children. They are all so different...and interesting. They make me think. They make me pray. They make me smile.

We are far from perfect and have our tense moments just like every family, but we have good, deep history - and that is a good, deep gift from God.

Thanks for scrolling through. As we all transition from 2014 to 2015, know that the Harrises send an old Irish blessing your way.

Sampler my Mom made

God's blessings to you and yours.

A Good Start

I start most every morning with my "quiet time." Since God saved me from my sinful self way back when I was 9 years old - since the blood of Jesus did work in my life - I've known time alone with God sometime during a day was critical. For me, it's first thing in the morning. Because I want to know and love Him more; because I want to "to number my days, that I may gain a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12); because I want to love people more and live well the few short years I have on this earth;  the alarm goes off a little early, and I start my day with God. I read the Bible and I pray. I may have a devotional book handy and Bible websites up and I go back and forth between all those resources.

No two mornings are exactly the same because, well, because, I'm a person and God's a person and we are communicating and communication isn't rote but real and organic. And yesterday morning, it was as real and organic as it gets. He met me in such a delightful way, and I want to share it here.

Because I'm attending a Bible Study Fellowship class, I have a daily reading schedule. Yesterday, it happened to be the day assigned to read the notes provided by BSF on a section we had just studied about the life of Moses. I jumped right into them with barely a "Help me understand this, Lord." However, not far into it,  I felt a check in my spirit. Time with God isn't something to check off a list, but a person to be with. So I stopped and picked up a small devotional book recently given to me by a friend. It's title is His Name Shall Be Called, and it's a Christmas inspirational book that focuses on the names of Jesus.

The fact that it's a beautiful book is a bonus:)

The focus I read was from Jeremiah 50:6

Now for full disclosure.

I read that and causally thought that was nice - and true. Yes, Jesus is our resting place. I even closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to try to think about it all a bit more. The thoughts expressed in what I just read were good, but they hadn't sent me soaring to new spiritual heights. But at least I had attempted a more relational moment. I didn't know it then, but God was going to use this attempt later. He's good at doing that kind of thing.

I went back to my BSF notes, which I love reading, by the way. They are not a chore at all. So with highlighter in hand and cup of coffee nearby, I began.

I came across a discussion of different levels of knowing someone.

While reading this, I thought of someone I know - one of my heroes in the faith, Elisabeth Elliot. I've only met her briefly at a couple of conferences, but I feel like I know her because I've read almost everything she's written. Because she's elderly (she'll be 88 on Dec 21st) and not in the best of health (and because I'm easily distracted sometimes), I decided to quickly check her website to see how she was doing. I stayed there long enough to see she is still being beautifully cared for by her loved ones and to thank God for her many years of speaking to me through her books and lectures.

Elisabeth check done, it was back to the notes.

It was in this next section of note reading, that I marveled at the tender care of God - the One who knows me best and still loves me most. His taking of my feeblest attempts at devotion and my note reading and my quick website check and then more note reading and weaving them all together to teach me about himself is such a gift from His great and mighty heart. At the early hour of 6:30 a.m., my tired face broke into a ready smile when I read the following:

The reference in those words to the "five young missionaries" refers to Elisabeth Elliot's first husband, Jim, and the 4 other men he worked with. I know this story well. Elisabeth told it in her book Through Gates of Splendor, and it found its way to the big screen in End of the Spear and Beyond the Gates of Splendor.

So, in my notes on The Life of Moses, God brings me back to Elisabeth Elliot and her story and strong testimony just a few minutes after I "checked" on her. If that wasn't enough, God topped it off with the words to a hymn written way back in 1895. Words echoing - reinforcing -  the concept that I had tried to grasp during my devotional time.

Jesus is my resting place.

There it was, printed in black and white. Five missionary men sang that song and rested in those facts as they faced a very uncertain future as far as this life was concerned.

We rest on Thee  -  our shield and our defender!

We go not forth alone against the foe;

Strong in Thy strength, safe in Thy keeping tender,

We rest on Thee, and in Thy name we go.

I was blown away at this point. I wouldn't let my Lou walk out the door until I told him about it. I'm still marveling at it. It wasn't a happy coincidence. It was God meeting me right where I was. 

He's still speaking to me through these truths. He's reminded me in the day since reading all this, that the living of life on this earth - our future - is uncertain. We don't know it. We don't know the joys ahead. We don't know the sadness ahead. 

But we know the One who does. And we can rest on Him and His sure care and love for His redeemed.

As quiet times go, this one was slightly on the dramatic side. But dramatic or not, it's still a time totally worth getting up for.  Meeting with the God of the universe always is.  It's a good start to a day.