My Tribe's Vibe: Decisions, Decisions

Before I really start this post, I want to say again that all these thoughts - the ones I've shared so far, and the ones I'm about to share - have to do with my vibe with my tribe. You may disagree with my vibe and may have had amazing success with a completely opposite approach from what I've talked about here. There are as many vibes out there as there are parents. I say all that because this post feels a little more dogmatic on my part - even as I write it. I must confess, I'm pretty passionate. But, I kind of can't help it. 

So, here goes nothing.

When my children were little, they did not get to make decisions when it came to food. They ate what we put before them.

I didn't ask them if they wanted it. I don't know that I ever asked my 3 year old what they wanted to eat. Does a 3 year old know what's good for them? No. They are 3.

I had the following conversation with a complete stranger about a month ago at a dentist's office. After we finished talking, I wrote it down as fast as I could so I would remember it as accurately as possible. The conversation started after I asked her if she had any children.

"Yes. I have a daughter who's 3. Actually, she's what you call a threenager. Very strong willed." I interjected here and there knowing nods, because I've had 6 three year olds. She continued with, "This morning was hard. I got her up and gave her goldfish and a poptart. I give her anything she wants for breakfast because, you know, we've got to get out the door. Well, she saw me getting yogurt out of the refrigerator and wanted yogurt. I gave her that and took the goldfish away because she didn't want those anymore. When we got in the car, she started screaming, "I want goldfish!" and she wouldn't calm down. I told her she wasn't going to get any tablet time tonight because of this acting out. The people at daycare tell me they don't know what in the world she's gonna be like when she's a teenager."

I wanted to cry for her. I wanted to tell her it didn't have to be that way. The hard she would have to go through for a few days reigning that stressful morning behavior in would be so worth it. It couldn't be any harder than what she was going through already.

So, for what it's worth, here's my vibe on this:

When you have small children, they obviously have to eat breakfast - whether you do or not (and really, this applies to all meals - I just happen to be picking on breakfast here). So, as parents, it's our responsibility to feed them somewhat nutritiously. We have to plan for that to happen, or it's probably not going to happen. Whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, breakfast has to be planned for and it has to happen.

You plan it. You are the mom who knows what is best for that sweet or strong willed or compliant or difficult child. You plan it. We moms get the amazing privilege of introducing a young life to all the amazing tastes that God made! And the options we have now for food combinations are crazy varied. Pinterest alone can supply a parent with more options than they can possibly use! We are responsible for what our children eat. 

They are 3. They don't know what to do or what they should do. 

Do we get tired of doing that sometimes? Of course. Do we still do it? Yes. Do we just survive some days and give our kids pop tarts? Yes. Do we make a habit of it? No.

And, of course, there are some days you are throwing them in the car with that pop tart because the morning got away from you. Should that be the norm?  Do you want to live like that? My answer - my vibe - to that question was/is "No." 

My best mornings were the ones that I thought through the night before. If we had to be out of the house by a certain time, clothes were laid out, breakfast was thought out, and plenty of time was allowed for it. We are a sit down and eat at the table family, so we budgeted time for that. I was not one to ask my children if they were hungry, or ready to eat. Ready or not, they needed to eat before we went where we needed to go, or did what we needed to do. 

I neither had time, inclination or energy to let my children graze and eat when they felt like it.

And, I did not give my children a choice about the menu. I did not run a restaurant. If I cooked eggs, everybody ate eggs. Oatmeal and toast on tap for breakfast? Even the ones who didn't love oatmeal downed a few bites and gobbled up their toast. Some foods are more of an acquired taste. Don't give up on a food (especially one that you know is good for your child) if they, at one point in their young life, turned their nose up at it. Remember...we know more than they do what is best for them!

Before you think I was a complete Attila the Hun, I did learn what foods they were completely averse to and tried to be sensitive to that. There wasn't an aggressive "you'll eat it and like it!" feel to a meal. What we were trying to foster was a thankful, gracious, I'll try new stuff kind of attitude. Our goal was to foster a rhythm in our family life that, at the very least, put us on a course toward peace instead of panic.

It's all such a learning process, right? Our children are learning and we are learning - we are all just one big beautiful learning mess! But in the midst of that mess, we still need to remind ourselves that we do have an edge. We still know more than our kids do about what's best for them. Especially when they are 3. 

My Tribe's Vibe: TV Dinners

A lot of family life centers around food.

At least, ours does. The Harris crew loves to eat. We love to talk about food and plan what we are going to eat next. We love to cook.

Major bike wrecks don't even keep us from cooking! (2012)

We are all about it.

Because of that, the next few posts are going to be food/meal time related.

I grew up in a home where we ate our meals as a family around the table in our kitchen. I have good memories of that time. Lots of southern home cooking and lots of good conversation happened around that kitchen table. And one of the boundaries in place during my childhood that fostered at least the good conversation part of meal times came from my dad. He had one simple rule concerning meals - no TV.

I don't know if I ever thanked him for that rule, but I wish I could.

When Lou and I got married, we decided to adopt that same rule. Even before kids, we'd turn the TV off and sit down together for our meals. (Of course, there were times we didn't, but this was/is the prevailing custom in our family).

So after kids, it just continued.

And after kids, meals became more hectic for sure. Our big joke when the kids were little was that as soon as the "Amen" of the blessing was said, both of us jumped up to get something else that was needed. I'm smiling remembering that crazy time.

But we didn't have the distraction of the TV or the added noise of the TV.

If this is something you've never tried, but think you might like to, of course I would encourage you in that! It may feel awkward at first. But I hope you push through! :) It's worth it.

And today, with DVRs, missing TV shows because it is time to eat is not even an issue.

However, today, with TVs on during meals, missing good conversation is most assuredly an issue.

Flashback Friday

My high school daughter came home from school yesterday saying tonight was "Senior Night" at the football game. At the last regular season game of the year, the seniors and their parents are recognized.

It's one of the many little "good-byes" you experience when you've got a senior.

My very first senior night was at a football game - a very similar Friday night back in 2007.

A couple of fellow senior moms: Peggy Curts, [me], Kim Stanek

Luke and Lou

Those were some fun and nerve-wracking days. Luke, among other things, was kickoff and punt returner. My stomach would be in knots every time those plays had to happen. Talk about a praying woman! First it was, "Catch the ball. Catch the ball. Catch the ball." That morphed to "Hold on to the ball. Hold on to the ball. Hold on to the ball." By this time my body is contorting as he was weaving and bobbing his way down the field and I was screaming, "Go Luke, Go!!!"

I was completely annoying to sit by, I'm sure.

But I still have no apologies  - I am my kids' biggest fan.

I'm also Lou's biggest fan, and he - much more recently - turned 55.

Birthday dinner with dear friends

We were in Minneapolis, MN, for a conference on his festive day. Being in a big city means you get to see some new and different things - like a building with music notes all over it and a wedding party getting their picture taken in front of it. 

and a very sweet lab - like a yogurt lab. Something tells me if the Periodic table was all about frozen yogurt, people would take a little more interest in it.

So clever.

We celebrated another birthday this month - a big one. Miss Mary Grace turned 16.

And while part of me still may want her to be putzing around in a Cozy Coupe, time and trucks wait for no mama, and she is doing her thing in her Papa Hugh's 87 Dodge Dakota.

She's also been doing her thing on the tennis court. She and her fellow Lady Liberators had a great season. A good group of young ladies led by a couple of good coaches.

If you put that 55 year old and that 16 year old together in a garage with an old Mazda that has a bad stereo, it will soon be fixed. Music is muy importante to those two.

Speaking of a very important thing - a bike ride comes to mind. A bike ride on a very beautiful fall day. A bike ride on a very beautiful fall day with very dear friends.

Very important, indeed.

Also important and completely delightful is seeing this girl around.

I loved the way her hair looked here and made her  "hold still" for a pic.
She humored me.

 Our Faith is attending Southwest Baptist University so we see her every once in a while.











She made our night by asking if her fellow "jumpers" from the track team could come over for dinner. A full table with good conversation and laughter was a highlight of our week.

It's been good to sit down - slow down - and remember the joys I've documented here.

I hope you take the time to do the same in your world. Look back through the pictures you've taken on your phone this past month. You have some things to smile about. To thank God for.

Thanks for smiling along with me as I "flashbacked."

Blessings to you and yours!

Sunday Cells

I'm a bit out of sync this week with my blogging. I have no really good reason why. It was a busy week, but then again, so is every week.

Blessedly busy.

Since I missed the whole InstaFriday scene, I had to come up with something somewhat catchy for the same thing, except on Sunday.

"Sunday Cells." That works. My Sunday version of InstaFriday. Those pictures where I grab my phone and make everybody stop what they're doing so I can record a moment for all of time and eternity!

And speaking of time, some of us Bolivar Family Care Center folks had a great time at the Chili Cook-Off last Saturday. My main man, Lou, made his famous Chili Blanco, which is good and healthy. We had a blast serving up our good stuff, and tasting all the others that were there.

My apologies to Bill for making it look like he has a stoplight for a beard.

A stop by Academy Sports this week means a stop in front of this mirror near the shoe department. Alway good for a chuckle.

And I always, always...I'm not kidding here...I always buy this gum when I go to Academy. Love, love, love its sourly goodness!

You know what else I love?

Food. Pretty much all types of food.

And guess what?

Food loves me.

Back in July 2012, I decided to get ahold of my food loving ways so that I could get rid of some of the food that had decided to plant itself permanently on my body. A friend recommended an app called "myfitnesspal." Since then, I've been a calorie counting fool. I have a love/hate relationship with it, but it's done some good work in my life.

I had to laugh when I looked at my numbers after I went to Classical Conversations on Monday. (Cue some beautiful classical music). We had our Valentine's Day party that day, and as you will soon see, I partied!

The day started out well....(beautiful music continues to play)

When we have B&Gs, I put 1 tablespoon of gravy on my 1/2 biscuit. It's really plenty, and I haven't blown my calories.

My sister gave me a scale for Christmas, so I love being able to accurately measure just how much meat I eat. This is one of my favorite lunches...and, believe it or not, I am surprisingly satisfied after this. (Beautiful music is building, about to reach a crescendo).

Then, I went to the party. (Screech!!!!!!)

Pretty amazing how those little "fun" and "snack" size candies pack a pretty good caloric punch!

And speaking of punch, that's what I'll do to anyone who says they want to put my picture on this wall in Wood's. Any joy I had over saving money would be lost over my "celebratory" mug shot.

But joy is exactly what I experience every time I see this picture of my sweet girls. Since this poster size photo hangs right outside his office door, I see it when I visit my man at work.

Faith, toothless Elizabeth, Hannah, and Mary Grace

Another smile producer: these mugs at Caribou Coffee. They were part of their Valentine promotion.

So true

If my friend, Marla, goes out of town, we invite her husband, Wes, over for some of Lou's famous pasta. We take a picture of the whole scene, send it to Marla, and tell her we missed her.

She went out of town. We took a picture. Sent it. And, we definitely missed her.

Today was an absolutely beautiful, sunny day here in the Ozarks. After lunch, our Faith picked the spot we all like to go for that lovely Sunday afternoon nap. Glorious!

I hope your weekend was restful and glorious! Maybe you're like me, and have an extended weekend with President's Day tomorrow. If you do, enjoy! If not, still enjoy!

God's got good work for us to do!

Thanks for stopping by.

Blessings!

InstaFriday - InstaOctober

Is your October flying by like mine is? A lot going on in these beautiful, cool fall days. Thanks for stopping by to take a peek at my last couple of weeks - all captured with my ever present iPhone.

Two weeks ago Saturday, I attended a women's event here in Bolivar called Pure Joy. The theme was Beauty -  emphasizing what God says that really looks like. Even the decorations got ya thinking....

After that event, our senior, Faith, and some of her friends, thought our house was the perfect place to film a movie one of her friends has written. I'm thinking we may have the next Steven Spielburg here.

The next morning, Lou, Hannah, and I were up bright and early. We had a date in Joplin with David where we handed over the now appendix free Hannah to his very capable hands so he could ferry her back to the U of A.  We met where all coffee loving people meet - Starbucks.

I miss seeing David, our college freshman, on a regular basis!

Later that same afternoon, after that 3 hour trip to Joplin and back, we drove 70 miles to attend a wedding at a beautiful venue in Branson, Missouri, Integrity Hills. I snapped this at the reception in The Stables.

Wowsa

On Monday, and in stark contrast to The Stables, we hit the Mennonite store in Dunnegan.

This turkey was just wondering around in the yard.

And in stark contrast to the Mennonite lifestyle, is our digital, texting age - with all its bells and whistles.

Like auto correct - which may not always know exactly what you meant to type, but it may accurately describe where you sometimes feel like you are!

I was asking Lou, my hunk of man, to '"text Mitchell."

If my dad saw this,  he'd say, "Well, I'll say the word!"

Sweetness greeted me on Classical Conversations day! When I arrived to set up for class, this candy flower and note were waiting for me.

I have the best students.

More sweetness! My Elizabeth is holding my great nephew, Marcus Andrew Vaughan. We enjoyed him, his mom and grandmother for four days this month!

Nothing like a sleeping baby

October 10, 2012 was a big day. My Lou, of bike wreck fame, donned his helmet, bike jersey and shorts, and went for his first ride since the wreck. He was almost giddy with excitement before, and I was near tears. Our ride was mercifully uneventful and wonderful!

Back in the saddle

Cleaning up in my mom's room, I find...pretty much the cutest button I've ever seen. I have no recollection of having this made for my parents, but I obviously did.

Hannah, taking care of her Faith

Speaking of Faith, she greets every patient that comes through the front door of Bolivar Family Care Center.

 And this house greets you when you drive by Bolivar Middle School. I may be way off here, but I think they like Halloween - which, btw, is my least favorite holiday.

However, one of my favorite things right now is cupcakes  - from The Cup, in downtown Springfield, MO. It's ridiculous how obsessed with them I am right now. And just fyi, most gourmet cupcakes have 350-400 calories each.

Worth every calorie

I've mentioned here before that this is Faith's senior year, which means this is the beginning of a lot of "lasts" for her. Here we marked her last regular season home volleyball game.

Another thing my dad would say about now, "Nothing but fun."

And fun is how I'd describe my tiny attempt at decorating my front porch. The pumpkin, blue, yellow and white combination going on here makes me smile!

And smile is what we did when we drove into John Brown University in Siloam Springs, Arkansas, and saw our reserved parking spot.

We thoroughly enjoyed our visit and capped off a lovely day by meeting up with Luke and Hannah at a conveniently located Starbucks! We hung out there for over and hour - enjoying coffee and great conversation. Not only do I love these people, I really like them too.

I know you too have those that you not only love, but really like as well.

Aren't we blessed?

Before October slips away entirely, I hope you have time to sit around a cup of coffee or tea and visit with those nearest and dearest.

Those times are some of God's sweetest gifts.

Blessings to you and yours!

InstaFriday - Yep

Hello again.

Cell phone picture time.

Those days when we are in the middle of doing something and I say, "Hold on a minute. I need to get my phone."

And my kids sigh and ask, "Is this for your InstaFriday?"

"Yep."

Probably one of my favorite pictures of the week. The picture that illustrates one absolutely true quote:
"Many hands make light work."

Lou, the girls, and I tackled our two vehicles. It's amazing what the elbow grease coming from 5 people can do.

A dear lady dropped off a DELICIOUS apple pie at our house this week. It eventually came down to these two pieces left. I asked Lou which one he wanted. He was only thinking about his health when he answered, "I better take the bigger one. I'm still trying to put some weight back on, you know."

Yep.

Elizabeth hates this picture.

It was early in the morning, and I was in shock because I recognized this as a relatively new dress of Hannah's. Hannah is in Arkansas. Her new dress is here - and on her sister's body. So, I snapped this and sent it to the older sister to make sure both those facts were ok with her, or if this was supposed to have made it into her suitcase, and for whatever reason, didn't.

Hannah said yes to the dress.

Since Elizabeth hates morning pictures, she purposely closed her eyes and looked silly.

The dress still looks cute. Yep.

Engaged the Diptic app in church on Sunday.  It was kind of weird messing with my cell phone in church, but I wanted to capture these words. My soul ached in the best possible way as we sang them.

Yep, and double Yep.

THIS IS THE FATTEST CAT IN BOLIVAR!

He perches in this window down the street from a frequented restaurant. I go out of my way to see him whenever I'm remotely in the neighborhood. I wish he could live for ever.

Yep.

 I attended my first ever old fashioned pounding!

Our church welcomed a new pastor and his family by stocking their pantry. What a great idea!

Shelley, keep that in your "do this for someone someday" file.

Yep.

 Phone commandeering alert!

Mary Grace had her sweet little paws on my phone this time. But what a cutie! And she obviously likes my instagram filters.

Yep.

Thursday dawned hot, windy and so, so, dry. Oppressive.

And sadly, Bolivar had two significant fires that afternoon - one on the northeast side of town; one of the southwest side of town. We are all praying for rain.

Yep.

Another phone commandeering. Elizabeth illustrating how she dresses in Faith's room (on right), and how Faith dresses in her room (on left). I think this is a point of contention.

Yep.

Here, the internal thermostats have obviously changed. The sisters are bonding over Calculus homework. I like it when they hang out at the kitchen counter to do that.

Yep.

Right before the light goes out at night, I read one of the daily readings in this book.

I like going to sleep thinking about the great God who made the world and everything in it.

Yep.

"Mom! We've told you. We hate morning pictures!"

But I had to snap this before they got out of the door this morning. Love, love these Stu-Co shirts. Very clever. And bright. It's pretty much Oklahoma State orange. Lou would like that.

Yep.

And I like that you've taken the time to share my week with me. Thank ya!

I hope your weekend is a restful, renewing time.

Yep. Yep. Yep.