My Tribe's Vibe: Good is Good

Beth Moore can bring it, can't she?

She's an engaging speaker and definitely caught my attention one day. A few years back, I was surfing radio stations and stumbled across a broadcast of one of her talks. It was half over, but I stayed there and heard a good word that knocked this put-a-lot-of-expectations-on-your-husband wife upside the head.

I came in on a part where Beth was repeating the question, "Women! Isn't good, good?

Then she'd follow it with, "Good is good!!"

The longer I listened I picked up that she was talking about us women and the expectations we put on our husbands and marriages. She said we all want to classify our marriages as great all the time and nobody can live with that kind of pressure. It took me back to a place I was up to my neck in when I was first married. I blogged about that place here. I'm glad I'm farther down the road from there!

I'm farther down the road, but that doesn't mean that I don't need a good reminder now and then.

 On the days of marriage that are harder - when I'm tempted to be complaining and ungrateful
                                                                 - when I'm tempted to compare and I/we come up short
                                                                  - when I'm tempted to put undue expectations on my marriage because it's not some imaginary "great" that some others have out there, I pray God reminds me of the very good gift I have in being married to a good man.

Good is good.

Good is so very good.

Let's tell our husbands how good they are.
Let's thank God for our good husbands.

I couldn't find the actual talk I heard on the web, but I did find the following quote from Beth Moore that catches the gist of what I heard.

"Nor, she says, is there anything wrong in “good” as opposed to “great”: “I believe that great marriages are great but that a good marriage can also be good. Amid the blur of magazine headlines and blog articles about how to have a great romance, a great marriage, great sex, great kids, great families, great jobs, great relationships, and fabulously great futures with great impact, save a little room in your heart to believe that good can also be good.”  Beth Moore quotes on family


NOTE: There are some of you that cannot say, "I have a good husband." You have had heartbreaking experiences with your spouse. You have walked roads of fear or betrayal that I have not walked and I cannot speak to. I pray God has met you in that painful place and helped. I pray you are on the road to healing. Please know that I pray this post has not caused you any extra grief.

A Note to My Daughters: Delight and Disappointment

This past Sunday, I had conflicting feelings. I was delighted and disappointed - all at the same time.

Knowing my girls might have those two feelings walk hand in hand sometime in their future,  I wanted to let them know what I did with that tricky situation.

First, let me set things up.

We came home from lunch and my three youngest daughters started making plans to play tennis. Of those three, we have one tennis player (Mary Grace) and two tennis attempters (Faith and Elizabeth). My tennis player had texted a couple of other tennis player friends to see if they could hit with her while the attempters whacked the ball around, but Memorial Day festivities were in full swing for everybody, and nobody who could actually hit a tennis ball was available. It would just have to be the three of them.

I could hear the happy chatter coming from the upstairs as they decided who was going to wear which cute tennis skirt. Elizabeth was the first down and as she was filling up her water bottle, I casually wondered out loud if I should go and hit with Mary Grace to give her more of a "real" workout. Elizabeth, very kindly, said, "I don't know. You could ask her."

And it was then I immediately knew I shouldn't ask her.

Their tennis outing on Sunday wasn't about tennis or any kind of real workout. It was about three girls being together on a beautiful Sunday afternoon. It was about riding to the courts with the windows down and the music turned up. It was about being with one of their kind. And while I'm dearly loved by all of them, it was time to be mom-less.

Hence the tinge of disappointment for me. And it really was just a tinge. Quickly chasing that tinge was the delight I felt for them. These three, though vastly different from and sometimes pretty annoying to each other, were seriously enjoying one another's company. They were bouncing through and out of the house feeling young and pretty and independent. And close. Like sisters.

Seeing your children enjoy each other brings a happiness to a mom's heart that's difficult to surpass.

So there I was, genuinely delighted and slightly disappointed - all at the same time. Which brings me to what I really want to say to my girls. And, even though my oldest, Hannah, was enjoying time at the lake with her husband when her sisters were teaching me this object lesson, she's on my mind as I type.

Don't base what you do and how you act on your feelings. You can have more than one at the same time. You can have one feeling one minute, and a completely opposite one the next. If you go down the feeling road, you will say and do things you regret.

Tell yourself the truth and act on that.

I'm pretty confident that none of my girls knew I was slightly conflicted on Sunday, which is such a success for me. Believe me, there have been many occasions when, because of fear and/or hurt feelings, I have "spit in their soup." I could have done some serious spitting in their little tennis outing if I'd "jokingly" said  something to the effect of, "Go ahead and have fun! Don't mind me here all by myself."

How nice it was to send them off with, "Have fun!"

"Have fun, my young and pretty and independent girls!"

Faith, Elizabeth, Mary Grace

2013 - 13 Big Moments

When the world marked the days this year, the number “13” played a leading role. 

The number 13 won't make such a prominent appearance again for another 100 years. If the world is still spinning as it is now, I won't be on it, and neither will you. This is, I admit, a sobering thought. But it's a good sobering thought. It makes you think about real things - eternal things. The Bible speaks to this in Psalm 39, verses 4 and 7.

“O Lord, make me know my end

and what is the measure of my days;

let me know how fleeting I am!

“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait?

My hope is in you.

Good verses to ponder as we look at the future. Good verses to ponder as we reflect on the past.

And speaking of the past and the number 13, we'll let it make an appearance in the yearly update. Following are 13 of the big, but fleeting, moments of 2013.


1. When the son of lifelong friends gets married on the west coast (and when Luke is a groomsman:), you get up at the crack of dawn on January 1, 2013, and whisk your way to the great Northwest. Even though the weather in Portland, Oregon, was cold, wet, and miserable, the celebration was warm, dry, and sweet.

Forrister and Harris kids: lifelong friends

My dear friend, Louise - mother of the groom.

2. Speaking of Luke, he got our attention this year when he quit his job as a Pharmacy Tech in Fayetteville, AR, packed up all his belongings, and moved to LA to try the acting thing. In between going to auditions, he’s parking cars and taking acting classes. He’s had a little luck modeling and even more luck when he landed a small part in Carley Rae Jepsen’s cover of Part of Your World. If you buy The Little Mermaid, Diamond Edition, you can see Luke in high definition.  He's the piano player and makes his appearance a little after the 1 minute mark.

3. Our Hannah finished her 4 years in Fayetteville in May, graduating from the University of Arkansas with Honors. That little degree from the Sam Walton School of Business helped her land a good job with Market Fresh Produce in Nixa, MO. 

4. May 2013, also saw sweet Faith graduate from dear old Bolivar High. It also saw her provide some excitement for our crew (and her coaches) at the State Track meet. Her chance to make All-State came down to the very last Triple Jump of her prep career. With hearts beating out of our chests, we watched her sprint down the runway, then hop, step, jump! She hit the pit and the sand flew. We watched her. We watched her coaches. Joy and more jumping when the tape measure showed she had jumped far enough for a medal.

Changing the BHS record board:)

5. David successfully finished his freshman year at the University of Arkansas, and immediately headed to Branson, MO, where he hung out with 7-9 year olds all summer. As a counselor at Kanakuk Kamps, he was paid to swim, eat, play, camp and ski. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

David and U of A roommate, Judah

"Working"

6. July began with Lou and Faith journeying to El Salvador on a medical mission trip with our church. Lou saw a lot of patients, Faith took a lot of blood pressures and played with lots of kids. God was glorified, and many were encouraged!

7. Something pretty big happened in July that changed the course of our fall. While Lou and I were out on a date, Hannah was being proposed to by one Alex Joseph Hughes. Talk about happy and excited and...busy! She said, "Yes!" on July 19, 2013, and they said, "I do." on October 26, 2013. Those two dates are a mere 3 months and 1 week apart.

They might be a little excited!

8. While we were still trying to grasp the fun wedding mountain that lay before us, we hiked a few Rocky Mountains around Estes Park in August. We saw the top of Flattop Mountain, and  Lou, Luke, Faith, Elizabeth, and Mary Grace hiked Longs Peak, a 15 hour trek to the top of a Colorado 14er. We always come away from our time in the mountains amazed at God's beautiful world. 

Flattop Mountain

Faith, Elizabeth, and Mary Grace on their way up Longs Peak

The Narrows

The Home Stretch

The Summit

9. In those three pre wedding months, Elizabeth began her senior year. This is our third year in a row to have a senior. (That kind of pace makes a parent have senior moments!!) Elizabeth has decided she wants to study computer science in college. Now we've just got to decide where that studying will take place! In the mean time, college Calculus, dual credit Biology and English Composition, Fit and Well, Speech, Weights, Volleyball and Basketball are keeping her from being bored.

10. Also in those three months, Faith left for her Discipleship Training School in Colorado Springs with a mission agency called YWAM (Youth With A Mission). Her training, which had an emphasis on justice and mercy, lasted 3 months, and she is now currently on the field in the Middle East, working with Syrian refugees. She's there until February 19. She's loving it and we are loving her and praying for her from afar. My heart aches and is full all at the same time.

11. Could any other major event happen in those three months? Like the baby of the family starting high school, playing a varsity sport (tennis) and getting her driver's permit? Could we be talking about Mary Grace, who also plays the violin? Yes, we could. And I'm here to testify she is juggling all the changes like a champ. She's got what it takes.

1st day of high school

Thankfully, the last one to teach to drive

12. Speaking of having what it takes, my 87 year old mom has got it going on. She's not the spring chicken she once was, but she's doing pretty darn good for the shape she's in. At the wedding, she looked positively radiant. 

13. But nobody looked as radiant as our Hannah, who gave her hand to Alex on a beautiful fall day in our backyard. Thank you, God, again, for the sweet grace of that ceremony and reception. It was a blessing and a blast!

Our girls

Lou and I are still holding hands and hearts in this our 26th year of marriage. We're also still holding on to God, for "in him we live and move and have our being." (Acts 17:28a) We are grateful beyond words for his kindness and faithfulness this past year. 

We pray God's blessing on you and yours as you begin 2014!

A Glimpse at the Wedding

We had a wedding this past weekend, folks.

Our oldest daughter, Hannah, married her high school sweetheart, Alex.

And it was glorious.

God gave us the sweet gift of unbelievably perfect weather for not only the day of the wedding, but all the days preceding it - making preparing and decorating for Hannah and Alex's outdoor ceremony in our backyard on October 26, 2013, relatively worry free.

And so. much. fun.

But how much fun it was is the subject of another post I've got simmering about Hannah and Alex's wedding, so I'm gonna try to keep it out of this one. (It might be hard, though, because it was all so much fun!)

This one is about some pictures.

My dear friend, Sue Roweton, is pretty handy behind a camera. (major understatement) She has an eye for a "moment," and she readily agreed to be the party pic girl at our big event. She tried to tell me it was the VIP parking that swayed her decision to say "yes" to such an assignment, but I know it's because she really loves me and mine. It's nice to know you're really loved by a friend, isn't it? Anyhow, she did a great job capturing the big moments and some of the less obvious big moments.

It's some of those less obvious moments that I want to share here - I'm trying to save posting the main wedding pictures until after Hannah and Alex have seen them, but I thought they wouldn't mind a few peripheral pics.

Before the wedding, everybody but the bride and her crew got to buzz around outside. Here Alex, Lou and I are walking out our driveway to see the decorations that were by our subdivision sign. I liked this unexpected stroll with our now son-in-law.

After the year my 87 year old mother had, I would never have believed she would be at one of my children's wedding. But she was there, spunky as ever, and looked absolutely amazing. I know this will forever and always be one of my favorite pictures of her - and my boys.

And this might forever and always be one of my favorite pictures of me and my boys.

Luke, MOB, David

Our oldest son Luke, who now lives in LA, hadn't been home since March. It was a treat for him to see people he has a long and happy history with.

Bruce Morgan, Luke, Colby Morgan

It's ridiculous how much I love this next picture. This is the view out of my kitchen window not long before the wedding started. I have looked out that window thousands of times - watching my children play in this very backyard. Now it was full of so many other people I love.

And this precious soul with her precious baby? Lara Casey Weaver - who has been in our lives since she was born. I remember her first babysitting for us when she was 11ish. She spoke - and continues to speak - Godly truth, beauty, and goodness into our lives.

There are big, prayerful moments in life, and putting a ring on is one of those.

And those moments are appropriately followed by joy!

After the ceremony, we were hovering, waiting to be summoned by the official photographer.

Sue was hovering too.

I'm drawn to this picture of Lou and me for a couple of reasons.
    1. It's Lou and me, and I like us together.
    2. I don't know for sure, but I think Sue snapped this when our kids were being photographed with Hannah and Alex. When that picture was being taken, there wasn't another spot of real estate on the planet that had more of what Lou and I love bound up on it.

Another casual moment when my David just sat down by me. I always like that.

It was a good hair day for both of us too;)

 Another special father/daughter moment.

Lou and our Marea Faith

I'll end with a special moment at the reception.

First dance.

I love the look on Alex's face. I love seeing his wedding ring.

Definitely a whole lotta love going on!

Obviously I'm spending this week after such a huge life event in our family reflecting on it all.

We had a wedding this past weekend, folks!

I am so very grateful to God for the joy that surrounded it. There's a lot about life that doesn't have joy surrounding it. Those times will come and God's grace will be there for them too. But what a sweet gift of grace from God these joy filled events are!

Blessings!

My Daughter's Soon to Marry

My daughter's soon to marry,

This soul God let me carry.

Not only on my arm,

First in warmth away from harm.

Quietly, quietly, fashioned so sure

Beautiful, beautiful, perfect and pure.

Born, born, crying to live

Gifted, gifted - so much to give.

Sensing in others the words of their heart

Listening, perceiving, suggesting - her art.

An eye for beauty, and how to display

Joy to all she brings, all of the day.

Excited, excited, beyond all compare

Walking, walking, as if on the air.

Loving, loving, the boy now a man.

Longing, longing, to give him her hand.

I watch and I pray to our very good God.

That she - that he - to Him they would nod.

These two, now one, a great mystery,

Writing together their - God's - history.

Always, always, before our Lord's face.

Never, never, away from His grace.

Yes, yes, you're ready to start.

Holding, holding, each other's heart.