Thursday, September 10, 2015

A Note to my Daughters - All the Days of Your Life

When I started this classic book the other day,

I did like I always do and read the blurb about the author first.

If you read the brief bio of Dostoevsky below, you'll instantly feel better about the day you've had.

I thought Dostoevsky's bio was so remarkable that when Mary Grace came down for breakfast, I told her about him and read this page to her. When I read the highlighted part above, I, of course, seized such a teachable moment, and talked about the good a wife can bring to her husband and the good a wife can be to her husband. Look at what good Anna Snitkina had done - had been - for Dostoevsky!

It also triggered a memory about a radio program I heard years ago that (I think) featured Leslie Ludy. She introduced me to a concept from Proverbs 31 (the virtuous woman passage) that I had never thought of before, one that I'd wish I'd been introduced to and consequently, more mindful of, when I was single.

It's a beautiful "knowing" - and I want to make sure my daughters are aware of it.

The enlightening thought is found in Proverbs 31:12, which I've highlighted below.

10 An excellent wife who can find?

     She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,

    and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good, and not harm,

    all the days of her life.

I've read those words many times, and have taken them more to heart since I became a wife back in 1987. I want to become an excellent wife, a Proverbs 31 woman. All the days of my life, I want to do good to my Lou. I haven't arrived, but hopefully, I am in progress.

I take him for cupcakes sometimes...that's doing good for sure

I put the words "since I became a wife" in italics above because that's as long as I've been trying to do good to my husband, and I want to do good to him all the days that I have left of my life. That's a good thing and it certainly speaks to where I am and where my oldest daughter, Hannah, is.

October 26, 2013

She's been a wife to her Alex for almost 2 years now, and I've been privileged and blessed to see her seeking to do him good all the days of her life.

On first glance it would seem that verse 12 only speaks to me and Hannah and all other married women out there. But Leslie Ludy brought up the fact that all the days of your life means all the days of your life. And many of the days of a woman's life are before marriage.

A woman can do good to her husband before she is married.

I must clarify here that I don't want my daughters (or any other young woman who is single) to have their sights fixed (fixated?) on marrying and/or becoming something marry-able. The only place I pray my daughters' eyes are fixed is on our Savior, the author and perfector of our faith - Jesus Christ. When their eyes are focused on him, they are on the path where they can see clearly, think clearly, feel clearly, and act wisely. That is how they become virtuous women.

But it's also safe to say that getting married is something my 3 other daughters desire at some point in their future. And if God grants them that good gift, they can know that by seeking to be a Proverbs 31 woman now - today - they are also doing good to their future husband!

There is something about that that I think is so beautiful.

It's like this amazing fringe benefit that you hadn't ever thought of before. Dear daughters, you can be doing good today to the man you are going to love so much that sometimes, your heart aches. You are in the middle of all the days of your life. What you do today matters. Continue becoming a Proverbs 31 woman.

And you will continue doing good.

My daughters have certainly been more than good in my life. I have been blessed to know them all the days of their life. They are far more precious than jewels.

The Woman Who Fears the Lord

10 [d] An excellent wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
    and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
    she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
    and provides food for her household
    and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself[e] with strength
    and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
    Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
    and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
    and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
    for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[f]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
    her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
    when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
    she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
    and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
    and let her works praise her in the gates.


  1. Wow. That is such a great word! Thank you. What we do before marriage makes a difference. It's good to be mindful of our preparation in case that is a gift God gives us. I've been married 12 years now and doing your husband good by respecting him and serving him makes a good marriage great.

    1. Hi Amanda! Thanks for the kind words and for stopping by!