Thursday, February 10, 2011

Newton, Hitch and Kissing

Tuesday, at Classical Conversations, 10 year old Will vanHoornbeek's presentation was on Sir Isaac Newton. He did a great job describing the high points of Newton's life and then ending with some of his famous quotes. I liked it so much I asked to see his notes when he was done because I wanted to copy down the quotes he shared with us.

And then somewhere in the midst of listening to him, something in my mind was triggered (snapped?). I thought of the scene in the movie "Hitch," where Hitch is teaching Albert how to kiss Allegra Cole goodnight.  (The scene is on you-tube and is absolutely hilarious, if you're interested).  Hitch describes the 90-10 rule which says the following.

Guys, when you are giving the girl of your dreams that first kiss, go only 90% of the way toward her.  She is to come the other 10%.

Well, if I'm hearing "Newton describes the attractive force between all objects that possess mass," and it's getting close to Valentine's Day, why wouldn't I jump to a scene like I've just described in Hitch? You have an attractive force between two objects that possess mass.  How all these thoughts cavort around and make these kind of connections is fascinating to me.

Sir Isaac Newton

My thoughts then took a jump into my attempts at poetry. I immediately thought of a couple of lines connecting Newton and Hitch.  My grandfather enjoyed writing poems and for me, the challenge of writing poems is, believe it or not, fun. It makes me smile. Hopefully, they'll make you smile a bit, too.

How a Kiss is Caught

Mr. Newton talked about bodies with mass
And the pull that draws them close.
This made me think of the movie, "Hitch"
And also prompted this post.

Hitch advised men 'bout the ladies,
And the delicate dance we do
He gave some tips both bold and coy
That help men in their quest to be two.

He must have studied his science well
Especially what Newton had taught.
It spawned a core belief of his
Of how a kiss is caught.

"Bodies with mass pull on each other,
So guys, get close to her face.
But just go 90% of the way,
She'll fill the rest of that space.

That girl will start to feel your tug
She's drawn like a moth to a flame.
She'll come that needed 10%,
It's Sir Isaac we have to blame!

She'll close the gap, and then you'll know,
She really wants that touch,
It could be the beginning of something new,
And then, no more 'going dutch!'"

Hitch really owes Sir Isaac a lot,
Since this law was his bread and butter.
The 90-10 rule, when put into practice,
Caused many a heart to flutter.

So who would have thought it?
Gravity and love - is this a new warp and woof?
I bet if you asked Newton or Hitch
They'd say, "Yes- and the kiss is proof.


  1. You are so clever to make that unexpected, yet absolutely spot-on connection...AND do it with a poem! Brought a smile to my face, like this :)

  2. Oh, I love Hitch!! What at great connection and your poetry is fabulous!