Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Feeling Loved

After finding this Valentine on the table where I read every morning,
I love my Lou
I opened up this Valentine

Journaling Bible

and read in the book of Matthew, chapter 28.

I read it all, but it was in verses 16-17 that God spoke to me today.

[16] Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. [17] And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted.
(Matthew 28:16-17 ESV)

Here we have the 11 people in the world who knew Jesus best. They had seen countless miracles and had rubbed elbows with the Son of God for 3 years. Now, they are seeing the resurrected Jesus (I can't even wrap my mind around that!) and appropriately, they worshiped him. And then Matthew tells us, "but some doubted."

I don't think I had ever noticed those words before. I'm so glad God inspired Matthew to put those words in there. Because every once in a while, I forget that the disciples, and everybody else mentioned in the Bible, is just like me - a regular human who has doubts and fears that rear their head at the most inopportune moments.

This wasn't the first time the disciples had seen the risen-from-the-dead Jesus. And they were on a mountain. If there's anywhere on the planet that I feel like my faith tends to soar, it's on top of a mountain. But some doubted. And sometimes, I doubt.

I've actually had a couple of times in the past weeks where I've found myself thinking, "All this I've learned about God and Jesus is just so fantastic!" Now, I mean fantastic in the "imaginative or fanciful; remote from reality" kind of fantastic. These kind of thoughts always jar me. How can I have been a Christian for so long, and still have those thoughts ever run through my mind?"

I worked through those fantastic moments by leaning harder into God. By reading His Word (I tend to go to the book of John - either chapter 1 or 14) and asking Him to please show Himself to me anew. He has been faithful to answer that plea.

Then this morning, I felt an extra little loving from my Lord when I read those words in Matt 28:17. He reminded me that I am not alone. I'm not first who's ever doubted and I won't be the last. And it's probably not the last time I'll ever do some doubting.

Thankfully, it's not the last time He'll reassure me and quiet my soul either. In fact, He made a huge promise at the end of chapter 28 that I'm taking to the bank. He said,

And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

He said that to those doubting men, and he's saying it to me.

That'll leave a girl feeling loved.


  1. I stumbled upon your blog while looking for the ESV journaling Bible - Beautiful post, by the way!

    May I ask where you got your Bible? I've been looking all over for it.

    1. Hello Rachel! And thank you! My Bible is from Crossway publishers. I actually got it at a conference where Crossway had a booth set up. I just searched "Crossway Journaling Bible" and got a number of hits where you could purchase it. Hope that helps! Blessings!